Thursday, April 7, 2011

Finding Myself

It has been a bit since I posted an entry. I have been having some personal issues. Arguing with myself none the less.

I have been looking for something. Not sure what it is, not sure if I even need to look anywhere. I have meditated and sought inwardly. I am not sure where to look or if I need to look. I have read about it and seem to be struggling inside with many things. Including worry and stress. These two negative feelings are what gets me every time.

I think the thing I seek is simply how to completely let go. I want to feel that internal freedom from all negatives. I love that I love so freely and everything. I just want these serious negatives to go away. If these feelings could go away then my life would be so much better. More positive would come in and I would be overwhelmed with love and positivity. I pray daily for the help to let these go.

The biggest thing I struggle with is that I am having a hard time letting go. I have been told to just let go. But how? HOW do you let go of things like this? I can let go of material things even humans themselves, but feelings that are so ingrained in my mental scope isn't as easy as it sounds. I let go of hate, of grudges, of disappointment, but these two, worry and stress aren't so easy. I have faith and hope so why is it so hard?

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